Miraculous Spring and Other Musings
Happy Spring! Thank you for being here. The spring season (according to Chinese Medicine) is characterized by both expansion and contraction. This start-and-stop in-between time can evoke frustration, restlessness, and growth. How are you growing and/or retreating?
_____
In what realms–mental, emotional, creative, spiritual–might you be expanding and in what realms might you be contracting?
_____
As a yoga teacher and somatic counsellor, I marvel at nature’s expansion and contraction process and how these processes are mirrored in us humans. Change on many levels has always fascinated me. Much of my work entails supporting people through transitions such as ending a relationship, becoming a parent, or giving up an addiction.
In this newsletter, I aim to be transparent and share what I am chewing on personally and professionally. Here are some of the themes and issues showing up in both my personal life and my professional practice.
BOUNDARIES • AGENCY • HOPE • EXPECTATIONS
A topic that frequently arises in my work is boundaries. I support people as they experiment with setting them. I am no stranger to this process. You can think of a boundary as a line—one that helps us clearly define what we will and will not tolerate. For example, a boundary might sound like, "If you continue to raise your voice, I will walk away." You might also imagine boundaries as little knobs that you can tweak and adjust as necessary.
I’ve also been reflecting on agency, perhaps because mine has felt somewhat thwarted recently. Agency means the ability to act—it’s the power to choose, to move, to engage, and to disengage. Helping people recognize that they always have choices, no matter how small, is both empowering and essential, especially when working with those of us who have experienced trauma.
If you attend one of my yoga classes, you’ll be offered opportunities to make choices, such as: Do you want to rest or move? Do you want to close your eyes or keep them open? Do you want to use a prop, or not?
The flip side of agency is helplessness. Certain situations in my life have given me the chance to deeply experience this feeling. It’s possible to find a sense of surrender in helplessness. For me, when I arrive in this place, it feels like a softening in my body.
Hope is another concept I’ve been reflecting on. Does hope sometimes serve as a shield, protecting us from the feeling of helplessness? It can be exhausting to constantly push someone—or something—toward change. Have you noticed that? Sometimes, we need to abandon hope and just allow ourselves to feel sad, disappointed, frustrated, and helpless. The wisdom of Victor Frankl’s quote applies: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Acceptance takes time to arrive at and is not a linear process. Before we reach this place, we often have to wade through a range of uncomfortable emotions. As a counsellor, I need to share hope and the ability to sit with helplessness—a union of seemingly opposing forces.
Another theme I often grapple with is expectations. It can be helpful to examine our expectations and ask ourselves: Am I seeing things as they really are, or am I engaging in wishful thinking? "Checking the facts" is a useful way to confront reality. One of my cherished teachers used to ask, “Are you trying to buy milk from the hardware store?” It’s a reminder to check the facts—the hardware store doesn’t sell milk. So, why keep looking for milk there?
What causes suffering is always trying to get away from the facts of life; always trying to avoid pain. We resist what is right here.
Are You Seeking Guidance?
If so, please reach out. I offer complimentary 20-minute phone consultations to determine if we are a good fit to work together.
I’ve recently moved into a new office in midtown Toronto, in the Summerhill area on Yonge Street. I see clients in person on Thursdays, and I work with people virtually from Monday to Wednesday.
Trauma Informed Yoga
I have had a long history teaching yoga at 889 Community. This studio has now relocated to Yorkville and will be reopening in May. Please stay tuned to my Instagram and website for updates on the studio's opening.
I will be teaching a one-hour Mindful Somatic Yoga class on Fridays at 10 a.m. I can’t wait to welcome you into class.
A Book Worth Reading
The New Menopause by Dr. Mary Claire Haver is a clear and honest guide to understanding the menopausal transition (there’s that word again). Grounded in solid science and research, and interwoven with the author’s personal experience, it offers straightforward insights into a time of change.
This book interrupts the silence and stigma around midlife shifts, underlining that menopause isn’t just a woman’s issue—it touches us all. Full of practical advice and useful resources, it empowers you to advocate for your health, so you don’t just endure the transition, but steer through it with awareness, support, and strength.
TV That Moved Me
Trigger Warning: Adolescence tackles difficult and emotional subjects from families, parenting, social media pressures, bullying, sexism, and murder. This series seems to be provoking hard conversations and deep reflection. As a mental health counsellor, I found myself particularly impacted by episode three, which felt heartbreakingly raw and relevant to the work I do.
Adolescence can be a vulnerable time for young people to go through. To me, this series sheds light on the alienation and loneliness that is part of the human condition, and highlights our biological need for connection and acceptance. My guess is everyone can relate to some aspect of the story portrayed.
Please choose wisely as to whether or not you feel equipped to view this series. You can take it at your own pace, or maybe you watch it with a friend or partner.
Wishing you well as you navigate miraculous spring!
Humbly,
PS If you’re enjoying this newsletter and think someone else might find it helpful too, I’d be so grateful if you shared it with them.