Connection is a Superpower
Hello, and happy fall. It’s been a while; it feels good to connect again!
I offer this newsletter in the spirit of support and connection, two themes that are incredibly important to me and are staples in mental health promotion.
Support and connection are essential ingredients for building and maintaining health and well-being. We are wired for connection. In The Book of Joy, by the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu (which I recommend), the authors write, “We shrivel when we are not able to interact.” This makes me think of the pandemic and of one of its many painful challenges. The authors elaborate, “We depend on the other in order for us to be fully who we are.” The concept of Ubuntu is expressed: “A person is a person through other persons.”
We all want to be seen and feel special. Connection is a superpower of mine and one of my tasks is to strengthen my capacity to receive.
Below is an embodied exercise that I guide clients through. It is about allowing yourself to take in the good of a trusted, caring other. I will soon be offering this exercise by way of a guided recording on my website - stay tuned!
With the instructions provided below, you might find five minutes to give it a try using the power of your imagination. This is a variation on an exercise that I learned from Dr. Diane Poole Heller, an expert and teacher in attachment theory.
Exercise: Receiving the Good
Give yourself some quiet time and privacy. Find a comfortable way of sitting or lie down.
Close your eyes if this feels comfortable or look down and soften your gaze. Take a few easy slow breaths and as you do, relax your body.
Please bring to heart and mind a person or being in your life who you have felt understood by. Call forth a person, alive or dead. They could also be a pet or a spiritual figure. Examples might be the Dalai Lama or your grandmother. Choose a being that receives you with kind, appreciative eyes. You feel cared for and received in their presence.
If you are a visual, maybe you see this person/being or perhaps you sense them. Allow yourself to be in their loving, compassionate presence. Let your eyes travel to their eyes.
Please notice how you feel in their presence. Track this in your body. What sensations are you aware of? For example, warmth, softening? What happens to your breathing?
Continue to take in their kindness. Notice or imagine their eyes receiving you. See the expression on their face. Take in this “you are special to me” feeling that is being communicated. Breathe in this support and let it nourish every cell in your body. Linger with this for 60 seconds.
Feel whatever is arising in you. Notice emotions, thoughts, sensation, and images. Notice with interest and curiosity.
What do you believe about yourself in this person’s presence?
Now, get ready to temporarily say goodbye to this person/being. Know that you can always access them when you might need support using the power of your imagination.
When you feel ready, slowly open your eyes and orient to your surroundings. Observe your experiencenow.
Note, this exercise has the capacity to bring up pleasure, connection, and to regulate your nervous system. It may also highlight a wound. There is no incorrect response. What I find fascinating is that the brain does not distinguish between what is real and what is being imagined. Feel free to let me know what your experience is with this exercise.
My Counselling Services
I continue to offer holistic mental health counselling using relational somatic inquiry, compassionate mindfulness, and the yogic path. I see people in person at my office on Eglinton Avenue West in Toronto and also virtually.
Take a Yoga Class with Me
I continue to teach yoga at 889 Community in Toronto. I teach the Move and Meditate class on Monday from 10:00 am -11:00 am. This mindful experience includes dynamic movement, breath work, a restorative yoga posture, and meditation.
If you are newer to yoga, this class is appropriate for you as well for the more seasoned yoga student looking for an experience that is more than active postures.
Pre-register online at www.889yogacommunity.com or call 416-925-7206.
Yoga is a wonderful compliment to counselling and provides an opportunity for you to connect with your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual dimensions of self. If you are a current client of mine or a friend, you are eligible to receive a 25% discount on this class. Please mention this to reception.
What Am I Reading?
I am currently reading The Myth of Normal, by Gabor Mate. For many years I have followed the writing and teaching of Gabor Mate. I have heard him speak in large arenas and have been in smaller trainings with him. In this book, Mate, with his son Daniel, writes about the roles that trauma, stress, and modern-day living exert on our body/minds. Have you read it? Let me know what you think.
Check out myBookshelfon my website. There are some great suggestions there on yoga, emotional well-being, spirituality, trauma, and the autonomic nervous system.
Please be aware that my counselling practice is currently at capacity, however, spaces do become available. Under Favourites on my website, check out my Audio/video Practices, my highlighted Websites, and my virtual Bookshelf of Support for information and support.
May you and your loved ones find ways to nourish connection this autumn. If I may be of support, feel free to reach out.
In health,
P.S. If this blog felt helpful to you, please share it with a friend.